“72 Virgins and a Suicide Bombing maniac!”

Posted: December 22, 2014 in short stories

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#The Unbelievable Truth!

The following took place within six minutes and fifteen seconds in the Federal Capital Territory, Abuja, Nigeria.  

 

Saint James Catholic Church,

Wuse Zone II,

Sunday,

8am.

He had been sitting in his car for a while, murmuring and counting his prayer beads, reciting all he had been taught, quoting all that Mohamed had said concerning the activity he was about to carry out. It had to be perfect, he had to do it when the church was full; and now, it was time: it was time to receive the promise, his prize; his seventy two virgins.

He had arrived when the parking lot was scantly occupied, now, there was hardly a place for any more cars. He thought about making his move, and then decided to wait for yet another vehicle.

Mallam Musa had told him what to do, “Make sure you are standing very close to their leader when the bomb goes off, make sure you send the bastard to hell, then and only then would you get the sweetest of the seventy two virgins Allah promised us…” Musa’s voice dribbled within his head as he thought about the promise. Just one bomb blast and he would be in heaven, wielding the sexual strength of a hundred men, and having an ever erect manhood, not the pathetic joke he had under his shorts.

 He thought about the last time he was with Amina, she laughed at him; she called him a weak man, a half man, because he lasted ten seconds before his manhood bowed its head in submission to defeat. Now he was going to have one that would last for eternity, and he would vent his wrath on the virgins, his virgins.

A motorcycle drove into the parking lot.  A man and his little daughter alighted from it.

“Hurry Jessica, Reverend is about to start his sermon.” The man said to his kid.

He watched them rush past, and then he closed his eyes and said his last prayers, then he alighted from his car.

As he approached the entrance of the church, he could feel his legs wobble, he checked his wrist watch, it was three minutes to impact, three minutes to seventy two hot naked virgins waiting for him in heaven; he doubled his pace.

 “Welcome to church, sir.” A man dressed in tucked in white long-sleeved shirt and black trouser with a red tie neatly knotted, said to him as he passed through the doorsill.

He didn’t reply and just matched straight in.

“Please sit here,” A young girl ushered him to a seat.

He took it.

The Reverend had mounted the pulpit and was preaching already. He could see the people jumping joyously as the preacher announced the topic. “Lies,” he cursed under his breath, “This man is filling your heads with lies!”  He watched the girl in front of him stand up and rushed toward the Reverend to drop an offering at his feet as she continued to shout “Amen, Father, Amen!”

And then it dawned on him, this was his chance, he looked at his wrist watch, it was ten seconds to impact, he stood up rushing towards the alter, and screaming, “Amen, Father, Amen!” it sounded foreign in his mouth, to be calling the man he would soon send to hell, Father; but it was the only way to get close to their leader and so he continued to scream, “Amen, Father, Amen”

The bomb explosion happened with the last words still on his lips, and then came darkness, everything went black for some seconds, he was dead, he knew it, and was falling through a vacuum….deep….deep…deep through the empty passage to meet his prize, but it wasn’t seventy two naked beautiful virgins that welcomed him when he landed, it was three hundred and four, one for each innocent soul he had claimed whist he exploded. He was in Hell and was surrounded by the cruellest and ugliest demons from the darkest parts of the cursed place. He could feel his manhood shrink; his Imam had lied to him! Mallam Musa had sent him to hell!

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Comments
  1. Oh goodness! I don’t doubt this would be his fate!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Thanks for this, love it.

    See religion is incredible – all of them. Each has its way to make fool of blind followers.

    Now to the light bits – always amazed at my people’s stupidity the ones blinded by religions.

    Muhamed lasted 10 seconds during love making with Amina on earth yet believed by miracle Musa’s stretched truth of virgin-sex ever after. My people!
    Virgin sex worth dying for yet Musa didn’t kill himself so he could have the same ever after pleasure?

    A visit to the doctor for Mohamed erectile issue more like it – oops, he can’t think that far – Boko haram.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I am sorry for the loss of the three hundred and four. 😦 I am sorry the threat of the deluded and misguided hangs over everyone. We make jokes about the heavenly fantasies, but it is difficult to believe that people with normal intelligence can allow themselves to believe such nonsense. I think maybe it other more earthly promises that are sometimes more persuasive. Such things as financial help for dependent family, as an example 😦

    Liked by 1 person

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