The Village Christmas: Day 1

Posted: December 31, 2014 in nonfiction
Tags: , ,

villagers#A first experience

My twin and I weren’t exactly sure, on the morning of Christmas Eve, what our mother meant when she said, “Boys, we are going to the village for Christmas!” I looked at my twin, giving him the ‘Is she serious?’ eyebrow. He snorted and continued pressing his blackberry phone, not a tad perturbed because like me, he had the conviction that it was impossible.

***

Well, five hours later, I was seated beside my twin at the back of mum’s Toyota corolla, headed for the village! Mum had successfully convinced dad that we had to go with her to the village to visit her mother! (Dad’s decision was concrete; no amount of complaining and whining could have changed it.)

I was boiling in anger, and my twin was steaming in fury, and together, we were making the back seat of mum’s car a concentration of righteous antipathy!

This wasn’t right! This was kidnapping! We were being carried to the village against our will, (if I was in the USA I definitely would have called 911, unfortunately I wasn’t, and that kind of shit doesn’t work in Nigeria.)

Mum wasn’t concerned about our protest; she was whistling as she drove on, putting in little phrases every half hour to fuel our spite!

“The village has 4G internet network, I’m sure your BBM messages would be delivering in super speed!” she snickered.

I could feel the claws of her sardonic jests gash the remaining hope in me into smithereens. This was my first visit to my mother’s home town, and according to dad, the place was still in 178BC — ancient, antique, old, etc.

I let my mind slip into imaginations, I could see them, the villager, all dressed in nothing but leaves that could barely cover their private parts, dancing in circles as they celebrated Christ, yuck; I wanted to vomit, and whilst I let these thoughts pass through my mind I fell asleep.

***

It wasn’t the worst voice I have ever heard singing but something close to it that woke me up, I opened my eyes to meet a very old creature dancing just in front of mum’s car, mum had alighted and was smiling as the creature sang on. “Shit,” I thought, “That can’t be grandma!” The compound wasn’t as ancient as I thought it would be, somehow, the villagers had found a way to get access to cement blocks! The house didn’t look any different from the ones I saw in the city and there was power supply, the light bulbs were on! My twin alighted from mum’s car and so did I.

“Won’t you greet your Grand aunty?” mum said.

“Good evening ma,” we chorused.

“Come on, greet her in the native way!” mum was angry.

“Mingwo ma,” we said, standing firmly and staring at our feet.

 “Vrendo,” she replied, smiling, “My children, what is the meaning of Mingwo?”

We looked at her like she just asked us for our kidneys!

“Okay, Mingwo means, I am on my knees, you were supposed to go on your knees! My reply was Vrendo, which meant, stand up, thank you. Now do you get where I am going?”

“Greet her again,” mum said.

We feel to our knees, I could see the pain in my twin’s eyes; this was entirely barbaric, kneeling down just to greet someone!

She said Vrendo, which according to her, meant, stand up. We obeyed as we watched her stroll into the house.

“How long are we staying her mum?” I asked.

“As long as it takes for you to understand our culture.” She said and strolled into the house too.

I looked at my twin, he was staring at his phone, mouth ajar. I looked at my phone too, eyes straight to my network signal bar, and there it was, SOS.

We were in hell, cut out from social media, cut out from the entire world!

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Comments
  1. trablog says:

    haha. Sorry for laughing at your sorrow 😀 Anyway it was super fun to read your story 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. sheldonk2014 says:

    This is great culture verses the new technology. The monster that devoured the world. Almost on the verge of sci fi .sometimes even funny. Great work

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh yes, a hell for any child. Is this story true?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. sheldonk2014 says:

    I didn’t know what an impact you had on me till now, you words open yet another door for my creativity, inspired me to push the boundaries of my limits. To you and all, I say thanks

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Awele says:

    Lol…kel.this was extremely funny…..I’m sure ur stay at the village wasnt so bad after all.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Julibravo says:

    The village ain’t that bad you two, stay n learn. It was a good read kel. Keep up d good work!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. fegie says:

    lol you sure have a captivating way of writing fiction or not

    Liked by 1 person

  8. fegie says:

    You’re very much welcome

    Liked by 1 person

  9. amcmulin914 says:

    FInally getting around to checking out some of your own writing and I love it. I just wanted to say it’s interesting in my Fictional writing a lot of the themes are anti-technology, where as here the vibe sort of opposes that, maybe. I’m interested in reading the next couple parts of this.

    Here in the United States even though we are all basically living in our technology, there is still a strong undercurrent of suspicion towards it. You can see this through oblivious pop culture things like movies and books, not to mention the more overt and obvious concern and outrage with government surveillance and the general trend of degrading privacy, that we are sort of afraid of the future technology presents. What do you think about those issues?

    Anyways, thanks again for sharing and for showing me all the love back on my page! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • fictionlimbo says:

      I think this problem is every where then! The Nigerian culture is facing a big threat also! And privacy? There is no such thing as that anymore…. Although our technology is not half as developed as yours, i still dread the future because of the rate technology has grown over the past few years!

      Liked by 1 person

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